The best customer service explanation.... Ever... 

Cust: How long will it take to clear my cheque?

Exec: 3 days sir

Cust: My bank and the payee bank are next to each other, so why 3 days?

Exec: There are few procedures to follow... For ex:

You are going for a trip and there is a graveyard on the way, and you die 2 meters before it. Will they take you and burry in the graveyard immediately? No, they will take you to your house, do all the respects and then bury you later, after all those long procedures....

Similarly banks do follow rules too.... 

A 70 year old man went for a Sperm Test.

The Doctor gave him a bottle to collect sperm.

The next day, the man came with the empty bottle & said he tried with his left hand then right hand.

Then his wife tried with her left hand & right hand.

Then his daughter-in-law tried with both hands & mouth.

Then the neighbor's wife & daughter tried the same way.....
but..........

Nobody could open the damn Bottle....! ! !

I respect ur thinking

I don't send dirty jokes!!!

Cant stop laughing
Taxiwala:-
"Saheb Break fail ho gayi hai, Gaadi rukti nahi, kya karu?"
Gujrati Passenger :- "PEHLE TU METER BAND KAR.!" 

A husband wakes up with a hangover....
He opens his eyes n sees aspirins and water.

He sits down & sees his clothes all clean & pressed....

He takes the aspirin & finds a note "honey, breakfast's on table, i left to buy groceries. Love you"

Totally shocked,
He goes to the kitchen 4 breakfast there he finds his son & asks him "What happened last nite?".

Son says "Well Dad u came home. @ 3am, drunk & delirious, broke all d crockery, puked in the hall & made a total mess....

Confused he asks, "then y is everything in order?"

Son says, "Oh! Mom dragged u 2 the room tried 2 take ur clothes off & you said "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
I cnt ditch her....

MORAL:
Self induced hangover- Rs 400
broken Crockery- Rs 1000
But saying the right thing when drunk-..... PRICELESS !!!

,
Exams ke Pehle Santa ne ek hi
Essay Ratta mara tha -
'MY FRIEND'
,
Aur Exams me Question Aya ...
'MY FATHER'
Lekin Santa ghabhraya Nahi...
Hushari dikha ke "Friend" ki
jagah pe "Father " word likh kar
aa Gaya....
Jis Examiner ne uski
answersheet check ki
woh aj tak behosh hai !!
,
Santa wrote:
I Am A VERY FATHERLY Person. I
Have LOTS Of FATHERS. Some Of
My Fathers Are MALE
And Some Are FEMALE.
My MOTHER Is VERY CLOSE TO
MANY Of MY FATHERS. My UNCLE
Is Also MY FATHER. My True
FATHER Is My
NEIGHBOR... And I Love My All My
Fathers
B'coz
Har Ek FATHER ZARURI HOTA HAI.!

Santa Singh Interview Ke Liye Gaya. Naukri Already Boss Ke Salle Ko Mil Chuki Theeee.
Par Formality Ke Liye Interview Jarrori Tha.

Isliye Aise Sawaal Pucche Ja Rahe Thee Jinka Kol Matlab Nahin Tha.

Santa Ki Bari Aaye...

Interviewer : Aap Nadi Ke Beech Ek Boat Par Ho Aur Apke Paas 2 Cigarettes Ke Alawa Kuch Bhi Nahin Hai.
Apko 1 cigarette Jallane Hai. ? Kaise Jalogee ?
…
Santa Singh Very Serious. ...

Sir Iske 3-4 Solutions Ho Sakte Hai...
,
,
,
Interviewer Shocked Lekin Kaha Bataooo.






Santa Ke Out Of The World Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it
in the Water. So the boat will become
LIGHTER…….. using this LIGHTER you
can light the other Cigarette

Interviewer:- Kya Bakwas Hai...


Santa's another deadly answer.

Scroll down a
little
…
…
…
Another solution: You throw a cigarette
up and catch it. Catches win Matches.
Using the matches that you win, you
can light the cigarette


Interviewer:-Stupid


Santa :- Sir one more Solution….

scroll down…
…
…
…
Take water in your hand and drop it
drop by drop…(TIP – TIP)

Interviewer:- Abey Gadhe Usse Kya hoga..

Santa:- Sir Apne Wo Gana Nahin Suna

“TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee.”
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee”…
…
…
Santa:- Sir If that was not enough, i have one more solution….

scroll down


Start praising one cigarette, The other
will get jealous & “jalney lagega”

Interviewer:- Santa ji Aapke Pair Kidhar Hai.....



Maruti 800 ki nilami ho rhi the. Boli lagi
15 lakh
20 lakh
40 lakh

Husband : is khataare gadi me aisa kya hai?

Seller : iske 23 accident hue hai, har bar sirf biwi mari hai

Husband : iski maa ki
...... 1 crore ...... !!! 😂😄😀😃